Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Archived Stuff Dec 2006

Sunday, December 31, 2006
Kerensa - The pregnant snake goddess


So here I am at Okinawa World, innocently minding my own business... yea right you say. It HAS been known to happen...true... I was asleep at the time. Ok, let us try this again.
Here is the REAL story and it is all true :)
DH and I were out walking, admiring the cool day and the wonderful foliage. We would stop here and there for him to snap a picture of some really cool thing. Usually I make a lot of noise when out hiking, purely with the thought to scare away any Habu (okinawan poisonous snakes) before they scare me. Maybe this time my super stealth pregnant body was daintily and silently gliding along the path.... think pregnant ninja. When a GIANT python slithers down across my shoulders and checks out the little one... or my belly button... after all it is really difficult to tell exactly what a very large snake is thinking.
There I stand with a snake draped over my shoulders and rather than scream or start running, yea.. wouldn't that be a sight?? Graceful dainty pregnant women don't run... It would ruin the effect. I get DH to snap a couple of pictures for posterity, which I have shared under photos as proof that this REALLY happened the way I tell it.
He was a nice snake. Very cool and dry, just kinda communing with the belly for a while and admiring my stealthy grace.
How many 30 week pregnant women get to snuggle up with a large python? I figure it is a good celebration of fertility! Next week I think I'll be on the lookout for a giant squid... Wish me Luck!!!

Monday, December 25, 2006
The latest household anomaly


There is a new addition to the household. I am calling it the "nesting dervish".
DH (Dear husband) gets a few days off and what happens?!...
Stuff starts moving around and getting reorganized (or organized). It started out harmless enough. I had more yarn than storage bins... so I asked him to clean out an almost already empty large bin for me to use. That worked well. I got all my yarn inside the bins we have and packed the "big" baby clothes into one of the smaller ones. That set off an uncontrollable chain of events. Prepare yourself...
Not quite stuffed bins became stuffed bins.. and stuff that had homed on the floor became stacked on top of THOSE bins. The kayaks... yes I have two here now, have a new home in the "spare room" with the bins of course. Previously they resided in the library/office/gym/tutoring room. From there is was a matter of logic to clean out the closet in the library/office/gym/tutoring room. Well a little bit anyway. That closet still holds the coats and weights.
Don't worry... not done yet.
That morphed into moving the bed in order to sweep under and behind it. I drew the line at the dresser. It can stay put. Then the suitcases got restacked in the spare room and a bean bag chair was discovered :) So that was dragged into the library/office/gym/tutoring room.
Still going...
The computer stuff was pilfered, clearing out space in the desk for more stuff. Luckily we have only one PC that we are in the midst of repairing. The other having returned to its rightful home the previous day. The books were then thinned out a little.
Low and behold... we have an organized spare room with space for more bins, if we must. A clean bedroom floor, okay except for the "not quite dirty" clothes piled in the corner. And floor space in the library/office/gym/tutoring room.
Thus the "nesting dervish" struck with a vengence. It needs to strick again soon because we have xmas gifts. They just need to make it into the same spot, preferably a shipping box.
For now I am learning new "putting on pants" techniques and making some very colorful baby belly coverings, aka maternity shirts. DH... well I wore him out and he is keeping the bed warm for later :)
One last thing...that stuff is REALLY hard to lift with no ab muscles anymore. I am pretty much not allowed by DH to lift anything over five pounds now, unless it is already attached to me.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Toilet fairies and other household anomalies


Our apartment has a toilet fairy. Granted... I have never seen it, but then I have never seen NYC either and it exists. I wake up for my pre 5am pee not long after my pre 3am pee and the toilet seat is up??? There are only two humans in the apartment and I happen to know that one of them sleeps. You might say, "but evidently you sleep too." Clearly you don't understand. My husband has turned sleep into an artform. I have no doubt that he could outsleep anyone and do it in such style that people walk away saying, "Now HE is a sleeper!"
This is why I have decided there is a toilet fairy in the house. I have no reason to leave the seat up and my husband SLEEPS. What do you reckon a toilet fairy wants from life? The closet monster just wants peace and quiet. Leave the closet doors closed ALL the time and he doesn't mess with a thing. The dust bunnies like the corners and behind places, as long as the furniture isn't moved or the wind too high they stay put. The monster under the bed was transplanted due to there being no under the bed. Santa Claus leaves cool stuff when you put out cookies and milk. Even the Easter bunny obviously likes to put little things in a basket.
Clearly the toilet fairy is a much more sophisticated creature with a motivation that I have yet to discern. The toilet fairy must be a distant cousin to the tooth fairy, whats up with collecting teeth?? MAYBE the toilet fairy enjoys the fluffy softness of toilet paper. BUT IF that were the case, then why not put the toilet lid down for a place to sit and enjoy the softness for a while?? No... instead up goes the seat. Hmmmm... obviously something worthwhile to ponder, seeing how I finished my classes yesterday and MUCH thanks to family, I have NO need to go baby shopping!!! No REALLY... I am THRILLED beyond words that I don't have to shop...*shiver*... even the word brings thoughts that belong with the closet monster. So instead, I will clean the toilet. Put a new candle out and I should probably wash the dishes too.
If you have ideas regarding the motivation for a toilet fairy, PLEASE share!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006
Now this is cool!!


You HAVE to check out this website http://www.umm.edu/pregnancy/9monthmiracle/tools/fetaltool.html
Yes... I know it requires micromedia shockwave, but it is SOOO worth it. I though about doing a poll to see who could guess my favorite part of the simulation, but I don't have that much patience. Ok, so MY favorite part is week 8 through 14, when the boobs get bigger. That is just funny to move the bar back and forth and make a whaaaawwwmmm sound at the same time.
Did I just hear someone say something about little minds being easily entertained?? Humph... look who is reading this blog!!?? hehehe
I also want to say that that really looks like a LOT of placenta that gets to come out after the little one does. I kinda want to see it... MAYBE I shouldn't share this much, but hey.. I am not the only crazy one out there :)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006
On the lighter side


I am planning on new belly pictures tonight.. stay posted. This week is final's week for me :) yay!! Have one of them pretty much finished and waiting for the other one to be published. So I am killing time cruising the web, I know always a risky idea... I found this GREAT site for irreverant baby onesies http://www.cafepress.com/buy/baby-gifts
I know that with my reputation I don't need to report which ones are my favorites, but if you know me at all, you know I am going to report it anyway. My number one fav is "I'm proof my mom likes to fuck"
My next favorite was not on this site, but I did see it elsewhere "I'm a BREAST MAN", and it is tied with "I'm with the MILF"
Then there is the political commentary "My diaper is like a Conservative Republican - full of poo poo"
SO many good ones here, but now you have to check it out yourself!
Few things in life are sacred, laughter is one of them. Gotta laugh man!! You would if you saw my belly in person!! It is large... jiggly...and topped with belly button flatness. Mmmmm... now why does an ice cream sundae sound good all of a sudden??
I am slowly buying my supply of Fuzzi Bunz CD (cloth diapers for those not in the know). The first box came in and Josh calls me up, "Your fuzzi buttz are here"... nice. I keep telling him that the diapers are so the baby feels more like his daddy. hehehe
And I am going to rat out one of my lil sisters here, because I can and it is funny. Without names, but the one that is learning to drive... was in the car with mom and mom says "look both ways at the rail road tracks." Sis asks "why? The train tracks are one way" OMG... BLONDE
Now it is true that she hasn't hit my tree yet... Ohh you haven't heard THAT story?? Well... I was getting to that learning to drive age, but wasn't really interested. Mom's bf works on me and works on me to drive his lil red truck. I give in one day and am driving down a back road. Need to make a right turn, but had NO clue you had to slow down first to make a turn. So there I went with that lil red truck right over a ravine and up the hill into the tree. Now for Oklahoma that corner has quite a few little trees, but the one that I hit got its own reflector not long after that incident. More than a few people know that tree as mine. :) (Note: I haven't hit anything in a few years, but still like to drive quickly around curves)
Later!

Saturday, December 09, 2006
I am a granola


Got your attention didn't I??
Josh on a tour of labor & delivery at the hospital here today. It turned out to be a personalized tour as we were the only ones to show up. Which was rather nice, because I am sure that few other moms-to-be here would have been interested in the questions that I needed to ask.
I very much liked the nurse that spoke with us. Too bad she doesn't work the delivery floor. She is a strong advocate for a woman to have the birth experience she wants. She was honest enough with us to let me know that it would be a good idea for me to explore offbase midwives whether through a birthing clinic or for a home birth. She let me know that there are/have been a number of women that have chosen to give birth outside of the hospital here.
She also let me know that the midwife we have been seeing on Lester really does thing a water birth would be a good thing. She strongly hinted that all it might need is an advocate willing to push hard to make it happen. she felt that most of the staff (non-doc staff) would be open to the experience, but that there would be a few to fight it.
I should say that the delivery room was nothing to look at. It was large enough for a water tub, but looked VERY institutional. And the safety guy who said it would be an electrical hazard, made a poor call. The flooring is curved up into the wall for a good 4-5 inches. Unless the tub actually broke AND one of the staff had their hand in a toaster while barefoot in the room.... well you get the picture. Personally.. I might be barefoot, but I don't see handling anything electric. Unless Josh has some stray lightning superhero gene that I don't know about.
I feel better about the information that I have regarding the hospital. I still have not decided it is the right place for me. Our next appointment with the midwife is this week. I intend to find out much more and look into offbase options.
Oh... and about the granola comment. The nurse asked Josh if he knew that I was a granola when we married. Referring, of course, to my cloth diaper, environmental, tree hugging, and natural birthing desire habits. This ON TOP of being a vegetarian. I just know that one of the "norm" family members is soo going to disown me for laying written claim to my perverse leaning in life. The rest... well just shake their head.