Monday, February 26, 2007

Definitely a monkey...

So DH and I keep insisting the little one is not a puppy. He turns out, however, to be a monkey. The little one is head first on my cervix and the ONLY thing keeping him in this point is the fact that he has wrapped his little legs around my ribs and is hanging on.

Now it is hard to chastise... I recall the appeal in this position from a variety of objects... trees, swings... and things that parents really don't want to know their children play on.

Given that we are NOT changing diapers, cleaning spit-up, wishing for a mute button or generally worrying that we have ruined his life before he can speak or focus more than twelve inches from his face, we do have it pretty good right now. Well, DH has it good. He is sleeping... no...not RIGHT this minute, but a significant number of minutes longer than I am sleeping, even given the so called "snoring" that he insists he is enduring.

And for those that keep tabs on my craft projects, here is a picture of Neko, the new Internet monitor that we employ (please don't tell immigrations). He was the candy monitor, but DH managed to get ahold of some chocolate. He has since been transferred into a new position.

Just look at the perfect meditation position and the immense calm that he displays... truly amazing.

This weekend is a full moon and a lunar eclipse. Certainly a must see in my book. I only know what time it will be viewable from Okinawa, but I am pretty sure that it is also viewable stateside. Check it out!

Monday, February 19, 2007

The Belly Button Chronicles - Part 3

Well it happened... sorta. Looks like no outie belly button for me, what I get is a VERY VERY flat one!

As I said before it is rather nice, no worries about lint collection!

I am going to miss having a flat belly button, rock hard abs and quiet.

We are at 38 weeks today, anytime now and we will have a little one... on the outside. It is a little crowded in that belly right now.

I had the BEST baby shower EVER in the history of baby showers!!! I hear it was amazingly fun and I am so very glad everyone had fun!!!

There were presents and present wrapping, food of course, games to play and a little geography lesson mixed in. So cool, what better way to enjoy a Saturday than to know there is a party going on!

I do have a birthday coming up... so if anyone needs a reason to party, I can't think of a better one :)

Today I practiced my hypnobirth CD, which is totally cool by the way. I am working on visualizing the hospital away and relaxing all that needs to be relaxed.

Ohh and DH's car is in the shop.... it appears to have been making funny noises. I suggested turning the radio off, but... got a funny look for some reason. He sure is going to LOVE the music that I will be playing at birthing. Well... honestly I doubt he will even notice.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Rock hard abs *SECRET*

I have discovered a guaranteed and amazing way to develop ROCK HARD abs!!! No more hours and hours of crunches, no repetitive days at the gym doing the same focused exercises...

It is soo good to be true that I am not sure if I should share my secret here.

BUT here is my story...

For the last couple of weeks I noticed a significant increase in the firm quality to my abs. They are so tight and hard that one COULD bounce change on them. But I didn't spend a great deal of time to develop my amazing abs. In fact, I have been rather negligent lately in my crunch routine.

SO WHAT IS MY SECRET??!!!



SEX… without birth control.

Yup… that’s it.

About eight and a half months ago, I landed the amazing sex technique that has developed lately into my amazing new abs. Well… of course I had help. It is a team sport after all ;)

All you have to do to see my amazing rock hard abs is to visit my photo album.

Don’t worry… I know that I am impressive!! People go out of their way to open doors, lift things for me and even have the courtesy to let me have the right-of-way through doors and up stairs. The abs are THAT amazing!!!

I bet you wish you had such awesome abs :)

Thursday, February 8, 2007

"I wanna be a skinny crack whore!"

My quote for the week. I am sure that it is easy to imagine why I am attached to that one right now. :) And just so you know, that is from the movie Jersey Girl.

So my rant for the week (hour)...

Men are illogical creatures.... no wait here is the tautology.

They say give the excuse they are hungry for not doing something... then they continue playing War Craft, PS2 or picking their toenails.

They say they are tired... read above.

They want it quiet in the car so that they may listen to the car noises... then they install an exhaust system that makes the 10yd radius around the car rattle and quake AND at the same time play some cacophony of random noise on the radio.

"Just a minute" equals either 20 minutes, a week from now or .... I'm tired.

"You are a bed hog" means I don't get to take up ALL the space on the bed.

And the current favorite. "I am not feeling well", "I am uncomfortable" or "I didn't sleep well (even though I snored ALL night, didn't make 4 trips to the bathroom and took all the blankets)".

When I am hungry, guess what I do??... yup.. EAT. Tired.. SLEEP. When I want it quiet... I don't turn on the TV or the radio or go for a ride in a noisy car.

Uhhuh...All sympathy has expired for the next two months... ALL of it. Which leads me back to the original favorite quote of the moment.

Let us analyze the quote...

"I wanna".... that means ME, not me and the little one I am cohabitating with or the illogical man stealing bed space.

"skinny"... means able to see my toes, put my pants while standing up, hell... WEAR normal pants, bra, shirt.....

"crack whore"... means have a beer, be irresponsible for a moment, have wild crazy sex, pee when I need to pee and not when my bladder gets massaged from the inside.

The full moon is March third and there is also a full lunar eclipse. Wanna make bets that the little one wants to see that??!! He is pretty low in there and a few other bodily changes are signaling that a change is coming. The appoinment yesterday went well. My blood pressure is still great, no weight gain again and I set up the next three appointments all at once, with the midwife saying that she might NOT be seeing me next in two weeks.

We shall see....